Jaded
by Tysoyo Kalli
Summary: He loved her to much that he couldn't bear the fact that he cursed her.... because she did not love him in return. A Uriel museing.


Note: lets see what bordom, a round of bullshit hyperness and pictures make...  
  
Warnings: uhh... if this was mine... then fuck I'm the most specialist person out there... Uriel might be a bit out of character...  
  
Title: Jaded  
  
Time Period: Somewhere right after Uriel put that curse on Alexial... uh... slightly au i think.  
  
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My jaded memories... Like shards of glass strung out across the floor. Everything I had always wanted, always /needed/ crushed by the words echoing from my throat. Why was I so selfish with you? Was it because you held the key to my heart, but yet you never loved me. I /knew/ you didn't love me. And yet, I was so selfish with you. I loved you. Loved you with every fiber that existed in this jaded heart of mine. This jaded person... loved you, and only you forever.  
  
But, I knew you couldn't love me. Even if you did, you wouldn't want me. Because of what I am. I am... the blacked winged angel. The one that everyone hates and fears. But do they understand? Do I even understand? All the hate thrown at me, and within me the hate brewed. But you, you always helped me somehow or another to release the tension buliding up within me.  
  
I am hiding now. Because of my hatred of myself. How could I have done that to you. For I know I'm a gental soul. I hate... killing... hurting... being hurt.... being the one to hurt.... it has never been my thing. And yet, I did it. I hurt you because of my rage. Never had I held so much rage for anything. I pulled up the worst of the worst for you. The most horrible, long lasting curse I could muster up. Oh, I remember how good it felt saying such words, these one's I dare not even speak, for they are so potent.  
  
Ripped your beautiful soul from you body, and oh what a body. They couldn't throw the body anywhere... because you are to perfect in everyway. They sealed you into an angel crystal. I made sure they took good care of it for you. You soul, oh how sorry I feel for it. Living in a never ending nightmar of horror and a painful death. Never ending. Never remembering. Because, I wanted to hurt you, more than how you had hurt me. And I did. All because of my jealousy of... everone in which fell under your love....  
  
My jealousy of not being the one you loved, like the way I loved you.  
  
YOu were everything. Everything I could have ever asked for. Ever needed. Oh... I am such a horrible person. You didn't fear me, put smiled at me with care. The care... of a friend. Nothing more. Though, only in glimps did I ever see you. You gave me hope, hope I had not had for... years. And... I threw it back in your face. I hated you... because you didn't love me.  
  
How could I be so... ungreatful to you?  
  
I feel... so... disgusting and jaded. I should have shown mercy to you, like you did with me. Mercy from the prying fearful eyes that laugh and mock me behind my back, and yet stood frozen in fear as my eyes drifted towards them. You... never shown me fear, but looked me straight in the eye. Your beautiful grey-green eyes. I will never forget how you would stare at me when I lay eyes on you. Most could cower, fearing that I might be the next reaper for them.  
  
You stood in one of the many small gardens in which was hidden in Heaven. I mearly found it by accident. And there you where. Sitting on a bench, dress about your body. You stared off somewhere in thought. I had never seen you before, but I knew you already. Alexial. The most mesmorizing thing ever created by God. And God did not love you....  
  
You heard me and turned to look at me. Our eyes locked. So brillient thoughs eyes where. So... perfect. Yes, the Organic Angel... you are perfect in every way imaginable. I felt timid infront of you. You gave me a small sad smile then stood up.  
  
When you thought I wasn't looking, but continueing on my way, you stole a glance at me. Took me in. Memorized my face. My hair. My eyes. My wings. And still, you did not shy from me in fear. Kept you head held high and walked on giving me a curt nod.  
  
This memory burns my mind. Hurts it... because of your... perfection... how could one be so perfect like you and not be loved by everyone....  
  
I dare not show myself.. no, I mustn't for... I have no hope. I will stay here, where I belong. In Hades, the land of the dead. Where no one knows me... I am simply just... what I am. The death angel. The black angel.  
  
You lives will be misarable. Oh so horribly miserable. But I know, one day, you will break this curse and come for me. Do not show mercy on me, my beloved one. Do not... because I do not deserve to be in your mercy... because I gave you none of my own....  
  
______________  
  
Owari.... 


End file.
